The last two weeks... Shit. A lot of irresponsible fun. The last weekend, at least.

Right, so last week, from Friday to Monday I terrorized The Watering Hole. 3 out of 4 nights someone wanted to fight me. Got threatened by arrest. Luckily Francesc got me out of everything. That's a friend. I tried out some new pickup lines, such as Do you want to see me naked? and I am intrigued by your big boobs. One worked. Anyway, I'm not gonna get into more details of last weekend, it was horrible. But of all the shit I did, I'm ashamed of only one thing - hitting Francesc. And that's why I'm not drinking so much any more.

On Wednesday I made a challenge to Francesc - I bet that he couldn't go to The Watering Hole in pajamas and get a number in 5 minutes. Game on!! And guess what, he did it. He's good.
The same night me and Francesc started The List. Basically it's a bunch of stuff we need to do before we're 25. Some are sexual, some are weird and some are funny. Oink oink (PIG NOISE). But it's top secret so that's all you get.
I'm not exactly sure how, but after writing The List we ended up making a condom-bomb* and playing Hot Potato in front of our house, wearing boxers. I lost. While we were playing, Anissa walked by our house.
Anissa is a deeply religious Belgian muslim, can not have sex before marriage and when I first saw her, I thought she had cancer. And she's nuts, but that's another story.
Anyway, once, when we were in Anissa's kitchen, one of her flatmates said (maybe jokingly, but we don't believe in jokes) we can come over whenever. So we did. Nothing much happened, though, just made some funny, taught the girls female psychology and textiquette.

On Friday I felt the consequences of last weekend. Got a lot of crazy eyes. Every girl I talked to, I hoped I hadn't met her before. But now I can just go up to girls and say Have I insulted you already? If not, game on.
Oh, and guess what! Kosta's friend from Glasgow came over for the weekend and he's been having a good influence on Kosta - he's been drinking for two days and coming out with us! BOOM!! To us, it is incredible, because Konstantin is constantly studying (NICE PUN, KRISTO, SELF FIVE!). And it's good to have a 2 meters tall taekwondo Russian with you. Just in case.

Yesterday morning most of my friends went on a two-day trip to Isle of Skye, so I went out with my Russian comrades. And Tobias. God help his twisted soul. Anyway, I met Getter and Marleen, Estonian girls. They agreed to be my wingmen, but ugh... All they could do was say Have you met my friend Kristo? and then I was on my own. I met a Kenyan girl though, from NEW CARNEGIE HOUSE, MOTHERFUCKERS. To the noobs - New Carnegie is the place where all the rich people live. They have a TV in kitchen, their own sink in their room and private toilets. I live in a kennel. But finally, I'm starting to infiltrate the lines of the rich. The next week she's supposed to cook some Kenyan food for me. But nothing exotic, she said, they eat normal food. Whatever, though, I'm out of money and will eat whatever I can get my hands on. In Jobcentre I saw a list of soup-kitchens etc. Guess I'll be trying out homeless cuisine soon.

I have a story for you. It's real, too, so all the better.
So, there's this couple, right. And they're in love. But as all good love stories go, their love has a challenge - the girl goes to university abroad. They agree to have a long distance relationship and the boy promises to visit her. And so he does, after one month of being apart. He flies there, all happy cheery to be united with his other half. And the girl says she doesn't want to have a relationship any more. Funny story, everybody laughs. Ha ha. Fucking bitch.

Aaanywayyyy, enough of this, let's get to the educational part now. Some musical education for you guys.

Hoodie Allen - You're not a robot


*It's just a condom filled with water. We invented it one night when some skanks were skanking around our house. Especially one with a Fuck Me shirt. So what better way to get rid of a skank than throw a condom-bomb at her.


If you read what I posted last night... well, shit. Don't worry, it was just some overdramatized drunken nonsense.