The Big Black Mama

Big Black Mama. The vicious, man hating boss of Adam Smith House. Me and Francesc's archenemy. It's huge, could probably beat up the male side of your family tree and inspires fear in the hearts of the manliest of men. Proof of God's twisted sense of humour.
How our relationship was cultivated, was that one night me and Francesc were bored so went to Ana's place (she lives in Adam Smith House) and hassled her to use her shower, because ours a) was broken b) had only cold water c) had a dead man in it. No cigar, instead she decided to throw shampoo at Francesc and as they wrestled, I yelled Fight fight fight!
Big mistake. Not that there's anything wrong with a little shampoo fight, but you do NOT want to have one when The Big Black Mama is sleeping, rebuilding its stamina to continue its battle against the gentler sex (next to Big Black Mama, all genders are gentler). It came out of its room and inquired into the cause of all this noise. Paralyzed by fear, we humbly said we were just trying to have fun, mumbled some jibberish about showers and dead men and promised not to disturb its sleep again. Unfortunately, The Big Black Mama resides near Ana's kitchen, where we often go to for pre-drinking and naturally we make some noise and laugh like jungle creatures, causing its hate towards us to grow.
Yesterday we went to the TV room in Adam Smith House and encountered The Big Black Mama there. She was watching X-Factor with its disciples and started interviewing us as we intruded its territory. All kinds of questions, as to what are we doing in its house, where do we live, do we know anyone in the house etc etc. Fortunately we forgot our ability to speak English and it turned its attention to the TV. God bless the TV. But not X-Factor, because well, I kind of left the impression that I'm not a big fan of the show. The Big Black Mama is. Disagreement equals death.
My fate was sealed yesterday night, when I was relating the stories of terror The Big Black Mama had imposed on us to people in Ana's kitchen and The Big Black Mama appeared out of nowhere and heard me call it the way I call it. Shit.
And today, when Francesc wanted to go Adam Smith House, one of its disciples closed the door in front of him and wouldn't open it. We've been blacklisted, I think.